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[joke of the day for kids]From lockdown, our horizons keep vanishing. But look, is that an apology! No, sorry, false alarm

  We home schoolers have had to brush up on our arithmetic. Luckily, we have had some interesting lessons in mathematics from our federal leaders. Have you noticed the blizzards of statistics Morrison and Greg Hunt throw at us? A million doses administered a week; 30,000 lives saved. We have tripled the level of double-dose vaccinations.

  Morrison likes to include the numbers of people who have been vaccinated once. We also get stats about the people “eligible” to be vaccinated, disconnected from the experience of people who cannot secure appointments. All of these numbers bury the only one that will set us free – the rate of fully vaccinated people, which sits at 15 per cent.

  The cohort most at risk from the rare blood clots associated with the AstraZeneca vaccine – people under 40 – are told that’s the only one they can get. Meanwhile, NSW has only used 15 per cent of its AstraZeneca supply because older people are shunning it.

  Cue some rather dark muttering about Boomers – first, they refuse to give up their negative gearing and their superannuation tax lurks, now they’re holding out for our vaccines!

  Apologies are like vaccine rollouts – better late than never, right? But when it arrived on Thursday, after sustained pressure, the Prime Minister’s apology felt a little cheap. It came after everything else had failed to please.